being reesty is the worst

I say way more than I should.
I also complain way more than is appropriate.
Whatevs.

Speaking of shortening words ^, my husband said something along the line of, "It's totes amaze babes!" today. Between my reests and his lack of decent communication, our kids are going to be screwed.

Speaking of people with terrible last names, I recently moved desks and now sit next to a lady whose last name is quite possibly (most *definitely) worse than mine. Glasscock. True story.

To my facebook friends, you have most likely heard this story. (To those of you who are not my facebook friend, I am one of those couples - the kind with the joint account. Deal with it.) I recently visited the doctor. It was a new patient visit, so naturally my height and weight were measured. Having lived in Russia for a few months, I was pretty aware of what my weight was in kilograms. I was still shocked when I saw the number pop up on the screen.
"What? Maybe I forgot how it works…there is no way that is right." It then converted to pounds.
Friends, my weight was at an all time low. A terrible thing.
Why? Because I haven't gotten skinnier or healthier. I've lost my muscle, which happens to result in losing the weight that comes with muscle.

I was telling a coworker about this today. An annoying coworker who had no business in our conversation overheard me saying I wanted to gain some healthy weight. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I wouldn't worry about that if I were you… You're not that skinny."

Okay, lady. That's not what I was saying. Also, you're not that smart. So shut up.
I'm a good person, I swear.

11:00 PM for me is like 4:00AM for the rest of you. Livin' the high life up in heeeerrree!!

I should go to bed. This just keeps getting worse.

*to every person who is stupid enough to type "defiantly" on a college discussion board, I hate you. You cannot defiantly agree with me. That doesn't even make sense.